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by Jmirml



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Jean kirschtein - Freeform, M/M, Marco Bodt - Freeform, aot - Freeform, attack on titan - Freeform, jeanmarco, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform, snk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 15:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1147370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jmirml/pseuds/Jmirml
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which they finally make it to the ocean</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

Water. Water everywhere. In front of him, the blue vastness stretched on in either direction for what seemed like forever. Was this heaven? Was this the end of the earth, where the heavens met the horizon? The fluffy white tips of angels’ wings spread across the sky in puffs and wisps. Pools of water formed in the creases of his eyes and filled the pours of his cheeks. The salty water in front of him was everywhere-- around him, misting on his face, licking his feet, seeping from his eyes. He couldn’t believe he had made it to this point. There was water everywhere. Just like they had said there would be.

He dug his broad hands deep into the delicate grit around him. It matched his hair in color, and although they called it sand, it was so much lighter and softer and warmer than any other sand he had ever come across.

The sand soaked up the warm sun above. Warm.

“You were always so warm. Your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your touch- always so warm, Marco”. He thought.

Jean laid back onto the sand now; the warm sun and mist made him sleepy.

“You know,” he continued thinking, as he looked up at the sky and the saltiness from either the mist or tears—he couldn’t tell, stung his lips, “I wish you were here with us right now. That’s all we ever wanted, wasn’t it? To be together and happy. Safe.”

Safe at last.

He thought back to training. Back in the barracks. Marco was always there for him. He wasn’t sure how it happened. Did Marco even feel the same way? He never had a chance to tell-

“Damn it” Jean mumbled. 

“I didn’t even get to go to your funeral” he thought. We were already beyond the walls. I never got to see you after that. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.. Marco” Jean moaned out loud now, the pain from it all making him nauseous.

He thought back to the night where they stayed up all night, talking about their pasts. Talking about their fears. The titans. The outside world. Their inevitable deaths. How Jean’s cold demeanor was all an act. How unbelievably scared he was. He remembered Marco’s wide eyes, how they listened and cared for him, in the dead of night, when all the other trainees were asleep. He remembered how they fell asleep holding hands that night.

“ For fucks sake,” Jean thought, his hands tingling numb, “Why didn’t I tell Marco I loved him before he died.”

He thought back.

They were washing the dishes, doing their evening chores together. He washed, Marco dried. The soapy suds crawled all the way up Jean’s forearm. He looked over at the freckled boy, who was drying the dishes diligently. Marco’s tongue stuck out a bit in concentration. How cute. Jean added extra soap, and took a handful of bubbles and smeared it across Marco’s face.

“Hey, what was that?!” Marco exclaimed.

Jean couldn’t see the freckles behind the white foam. Marco looked ridiculous.

Before he could respond, Marco smacked him across the face with his damp washcloth.

“Ow Marco, the hell?” Jean smiled through the pain.

Marco threw his head back and laughed.

On the beach, the pain seared through his chest once again as Jean thought of Marco’s laugh.

Marco’s laugh was the most genuine, incredible noise he had ever heard. It was joy. It was hope. It was Jean’s love for the boy. The bubbles smeared across the freckled boy’s face almost fell into his mouth as he laughed.

“Hey Marco,” Jean interrupted.

This was it, Jean had thought. I’m telling him. I’m bending over so no one else hears, and I’m telling Marco what I’ve been meaning- what I need to tell him.

Marco snapped his head around to Jean, and smiled so wide that it reached over to Jean and spread the blush that was now cascading across his cheeks.

This was it.

“Better get back to work, loser.” He splashed a small amount of dishwater at Marco, and watched it soak into the boy’s shirt.

“Ew, gross Jean!”

But Jean didn’t hear what Marco had said.

That night, he vowed to say something the next chance he got. He swore to it.

But Jean never got to. Marco died before he ever got to tell him those three little words.

“AAARGH,” Jean cried in agony. The pain. The pain of this trip. What a trip. His tears fell from the corners of his face and mixed with the foamy bubbles that reached up and embraced Jean’s body, as he lay sprawled across the sandy shore.

He turned his head to the right. He could see his fellow comrades, sprawled randomly across the beach’s shore, soaking in the sun’s rays as he was.

Mikasa. Armin. Levi. Erwin. And the others. “We made it,” he thought. “We’re just missing you. But I think I’m missing you the most”. Jean chuckled slightly, and just as he was about to close his eyes and slip into sleep, he saw a dark figure far along the horizon, in the distance.

Jean squinted. He could make out that it was a man. He was moving closer.

Eventually the figure faded from a dark blue silhouette to a more detailed one. It was a young man no doubt, short hair, broad shoulders. Young. Freckled?

Impossible. It was impossible for Marco to be here, Jean thought as he propped himself up on one elbow, to see the man better.

But god help him, it was Marco, and now he was running towards Jean, casually jumping over Mikasa who was laying down a few yards away.

The smile. The smile on the boy was radiating. Jean could make out his smile before anything else. Marco ran to Jean, and crashed down next to him in the sand.

This was impossible. He was hallucinating. He was dead. No way was it possible that Marco was here, on the beach, when he had died so many years ago, back behind the walls.

“M-Marco?” Jean looked up at the boy who was sitting next to him in the sand.

“Shhh, yes it’s me. Lay down, you’re exhausted.” Marco lay down on his side next to Jean, his head propped up by his arm.

“Marco. How. How in the world. This is impossible.”

“It was a mistake Jean, I never died. You mistook me for another cadet. And you know, after the whole thing with Annie and the others, I had to stay in hiding.”

Jean couldn’t stop staring. The young man’s face had changed quite a bit in the last 5 years or so. Marco’s wide jaw and rugged brow bone- everything was more… masculine. But his eyes. Marco’s big, round, truthful eyes were still the same. And the freckles. Just the same amount as before. Jean could tell.

“I don’t get it, Marco,” Jean replied. “Just how-“

“Shhh Jean. I’ll explain it to you later, okay? I promise. What matters is that I’m here, with you now. I made a promise to myself to find you again and I’ve kept it. I’m here with you. Safe.”

“Just like we always wanted, right? Safe.” Jean said as his tears started to fall to the ground, where the warm sand absorbed them just as quickly as Marco had appeared on the beach.

“Exactly. “ Marco laid on his back and patted his chest for Jean to crawl up to. The pain was still there, Jean felt it tingling throughout his whole body, but the pain almost felt warm now. The pain was okay. He was with Marco.

The two didn’t say much, and they drifted in and out of sleep as the sand turned from a light cream into a dark, crimson red as the sun began to set.

Jean slowly opened his eyes and cocked his head upright to look at Marco, whose eyes were still closed.

“MmmMarco?” Jean mumbled.

Marco opened one eye. “Yeah?”

“Where are the others?” Jean looked around, and didn’t see his friends around anymore- just dark red reflections set amongst the sand by the setting sun.

“Don’t worry Jean,” Marco kissed Jean’s sandy hair. “They went to get supplies and everything so we can get out of here.”

“Oh.” Jean replied, “And go where?”

Marco sheepishly closed his eyes once more.

“Home.”

Jean didn’t know what Marco meant by home, but he was content with the answer. It really didn’t matter where he was going, as long as it was with Marco, Jean thought.

Time passed. It could have been seconds, hours, years- Jean couldn’t tell. When Jean opened his eyes, Marco was still right next to him, freckles and all.

“Hey Marco,” Jean touched the freckles on his cheeks.

“Mmm?”

“Can we go home now? I’m not feeling all that great.”

“Sure thing, Kirschtein. Here, lemme help you get up. “ Marco quickly sat up and supported Jean’s back as he slowly sat up.

The searing pain went through his chest again.

“Wait, Marco?”

Marco was about to stand up, but hesitated when Jean called out his name.

“I have to tell you something, Marco.” Jean and Marco sat face to face in the sand.

The water lapped towards them.

Marco looked into Jean’s eyes with such intensity, Jean could have sworn his heart had stopped.

“Marco, I wanted to tell you this back then, when we were still training. When we were stupid teenagers, but I really had no idea how to…”

Marco grabbed Jean’s hands and held them in his, and Jean’s breath escaped him.

“Marco, ever since the beginning,” Jean began, “Even back when we were young… Marco. I love you.”

The smile the spread across Marco’s freckled face killed him.

Marco leaned forward, and the two were forehead to forehead, hand in hand.

“Jean, I know. I’ve always known. And I’ve always loved you, and I always will.”

Marco kissed Jean’s forehead.

“Really?”

“Really. Want to go home now?” Marco asked Jean, smiling. His eyes glistened in the setting sun, and he scooped up Jean’s lifeless body with ease, leaving the pool of blood that had formed around them from Jean’s damaged body behind.

“Yeah, take me home Marco.”

“No problem dear, I already know the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, just a lot of feelings I had to get out, you know? Hope I didn't break too many hearts.


End file.
